Trump Adds 'Black Lives Matter' Sticker To SUV So Media Can't Claim He's Spreading COVID

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In what's being hailed as a 14-dimensional Go move, President Trump added a Black Lives Matter decal to his SUV so he can take as many trips outside the hospital as he wants, and the media won't be able to claim he's spreading COVID.

"Checkmate," Trump said as he smiled and waved to reporters. "This is fantastic. Now, if I want to go grab a milkshake from the McDonald's drive-thru -- bam, Black Lives Matter sticker. Can't touch me. Can't criticize me. It's beautiful. Tremendous, really."

With his newfound...